May 6, 2009

I sit here, in pain and discouraged…

On the day of my Mother’s birth, I sit here, in pain and discouraged, and ask myself, “how could she have birthed me with such an irritable colon?” Today, as of 3:30pm I have ran to the bathroom three times and waddled slowly out each time trying to reflect on the reasons why this is happening. Last week, I visited my favorite gastroenterologist, Dr. Eric Goldstein on the Upper East Side (Shout Out- thanks doc.) BUT, thanks for what??? I AM NOT GETTING ANY BETTER!!!
I recently, as in one week ago, came off a medicine used to calm my nerves. I am a highly active, high strung, animated character that wants to find some type of working method in order to alleviate some of the pains (in the ass) of this damn disorder. SAY NO TO MEDS!!! Yes, that will be my motto in the months to come. I purchased a “self help” workbook called, Controlling IBS: The Drug Free Way, written by Dr. Jeffrey M. Lackner. It claims relief from IBS using a 10-Step Plan. Why not make it a 12-Step Plan so I can use those last two steps to drink my anxiety away? Maybe that would cure this ailment. Anyways, the approach is simple, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which “teaches you to change the way you think about and respond to difficulties”. Yea OK Doc, let’s give it a shot. But seriously folks, I am going to give this a shot. I have never done this particular type of therapy. I have tried the hypnosis (self and group), acupuncture (self, but group could be sorta cool and interesting!), and even tried sticking things up my…wait…sorry, wrong blog. If it ain’t the food I’m eating, and if medications aren’t going to be the answer, then I MUST conquer this underlying anxiety that has entrenched itself within the walls of my gut. I say GODSPEED to me, GO GET ‘EM. Go calm your nerves and calm your gut, and tell all who want to listen about the ways of the IBS. I hope to have something positive to talk out about next time, stay tuned…

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April 23, 2009
Although sent to me as a suggestion for treatment methods, I couldn’t help but notice #2 of “The Lowdown” Section at the bottom of the page…

Although sent to me as a suggestion for treatment methods, I couldn’t help but notice #2 of “The Lowdown” Section at the bottom of the page…

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April 20, 2009
Skydiving 2009- DISCLAIMER: Skydiving may make you poop your pants.

Skydiving 2009- DISCLAIMER: Skydiving may make you poop your pants.

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April 14, 2009
My Favorite Babywipes (to date)

Earth’s Best Baby Wipes- Chlorine free, with a natural lotion containing aloe vera and vitamin e, and are of course alcohol free. So soft and so moist. I wonder if chlorine is the variable in these wipes which makes some sting and others not; this will be a study I must conduct in the near future. I found this particular wipe at a local grocery store in Georgetown, Connecticut. I don’t think it is widely distributed, but as of now, this is the best baby wipe I have EVER used.

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Say NO to the “TAG”

Happy Easter and Passover to all. I will make this short and sweet, like the time it takes me to get to the toilet after eating a chocolate bunny that is sweet. Does that even make sense? I LOVE chocolate, but too much of it will make me, or anyone for that matter, feel sick. Quick fact; Doctors advise to eat dark chocolate as it releases serotonin into the brain. This can supposedly help to relieve stress, and/or help your mood.

Besides the Easter holiday, this past weekend was one of another important celebration, my niece and nephews First Communion. 10 year old twins; one liked the “blood”, the other did not. I have 5 nieces and nephews, and for now, they will be referred to as “The A-Team”, and the twins, “TnT”. It was a significant event in their lives, and I was happy to be there. After the ceremony the family went out to dinner. My parents seem to think that the only place we can take a bunch of children out to dinner is the Tin Alley Grill, located on Stewart Avenue in Garden City. I can’t tell you how many times I have been there, and every time I whine like a little girl, BUT, it’s for a good purpose, I KNOW THE FOOD WILL MAKE ME SICK. I stayed away from the greasy chips and artichoke dip, and the fried mozzarella, yet I still knew the ending of this meal would not be good. To be honest, my marinated skirt steak tasted pretty good, but it must have been the sauce, as like clockwork, I had to excuse myself early and leave the restaurant. Luckily I live less than five minutes from home, and new I would be in the comfort of my own bathroom in a short amount of time. My recently “communed” nephew asked, “Why don’t you just use the bathroom here?” I replied, “I need my privacy”.

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Just make sure you pass all gas before you go live!!! And if you haven’t checked out failblog.org, please do so, some great laughs. Video courtesy of JTL, thanks buddy.

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April 1, 2009
The Story Behind the Three-Pronged Claw I think I need to liven up the mood right now, and this isn’t an April Fool’s joke. Speaking of, did anyone get hit with Conficker? Let’s forget about the burger and forget about the economy. This story dates back to the pre-2000 millennium. I first developed symptoms of IBS in 1999, my junior year of high school. I knew something was up when after eating a bacon, egg, and cheese from Dirty Deli after 1st period, I would have to run to the bathroom. This strange and unfortunate activity continued for several weeks, so I went to a gastroenterologist in Mineola, NY. The first test that a new patient undergoes, (or at least the first procedure that I underwent) is a Sigmoidoscopy. The Sigmoid is the lowest portion of the Colon, i.e. Large Intestine. It holds the “matter” before it is sent out into the “porcelain palace”. Three typical procedures for the gastrointestinal tract (“GI”) are Sigmoidoscopy, Colonoscopy, and Endoscopy. The Sigmoidoscopy does not require complete sedation, as the camera does not travel up far into the Colon. If any of you have completed the aforementioned procedures, you know all about the preparation. Maybe it’s a drink, maybe it’s an enema…, or a powerful combination of both. But it CLEANS YOU OUT and is VERY unpleasant. The story goes like this: I was put under mild sedation, and was able to watch the procedure on a small TV screen up in the corner of the examination room. At most it feels like a bunch of air being introduced up into your behind…, uncomfortable but painless. As I watched the screen, I saw small bits of green jello float by… yes, green jello. During prep, I was only allowed to drink or eat certain liquids and foods, and green jello was one of them. A minute or two later, I saw a metal arm come into the TV frame, and with three prongs, a claw grabbed a piece of my insides!!! I could even see a bit of blood as the claw took a sample of my sigmoid colon for biopsy. Needless to say I was shocked, and immediately considered a lawsuit. No, I didn’t; that would have been stupid and pathetic. In the end, I thought it was incredible. I saw green jello in my intestine, and then a mechanical device installed in an endoscope reach out and take a bite out of me!!! The bottom line and the conclusion of this test showed that my colon appeared to be, and was indeed, healthy. IBS does not damage any lining villa or create polyps or ulcers. The intestine itself is not harmed by IBS and seems to function with normal action until there is a GI stimulant. The Brain-Gut Function is what IBS is ALL about. More about life and the “BGF” later…

The Story Behind the Three-Pronged Claw


I think I need to liven up the mood right now, and this isn’t an April Fool’s joke. Speaking of, did anyone get hit with Conficker?

Let’s forget about the burger and forget about the economy. This story dates back to the pre-2000 millennium. I first developed symptoms of IBS in 1999, my junior year of high school. I knew something was up when after eating a bacon, egg, and cheese from Dirty Deli after 1st period, I would have to run to the bathroom. This strange and unfortunate activity continued for several weeks, so I went to a gastroenterologist in Mineola, NY. The first test that a new patient undergoes, (or at least the first procedure that I underwent) is a Sigmoidoscopy. The Sigmoid is the lowest portion of the Colon, i.e. Large Intestine. It holds the “matter” before it is sent out into the “porcelain palace”. Three typical procedures for the gastrointestinal tract (“GI”) are Sigmoidoscopy, Colonoscopy, and Endoscopy. The Sigmoidoscopy does not require complete sedation, as the camera does not travel up far into the Colon. If any of you have completed the aforementioned procedures, you know all about the preparation. Maybe it’s a drink, maybe it’s an enema…, or a powerful combination of both. But it CLEANS YOU OUT and is VERY unpleasant.

The story goes like this: I was put under mild sedation, and was able to watch the procedure on a small TV screen up in the corner of the examination room. At most it feels like a bunch of air being introduced up into your behind…, uncomfortable but painless. As I watched the screen, I saw small bits of green jello float by… yes, green jello. During prep, I was only allowed to drink or eat certain liquids and foods, and green jello was one of them. A minute or two later, I saw a metal arm come into the TV frame, and with three prongs, a claw grabbed a piece of my insides!!! I could even see a bit of blood as the claw took a sample of my sigmoid colon for biopsy. Needless to say I was shocked, and immediately considered a lawsuit. No, I didn’t; that would have been stupid and pathetic. In the end, I thought it was incredible. I saw green jello in my intestine, and then a mechanical device installed in an endoscope reach out and take a bite out of me!!!

The bottom line and the conclusion of this test showed that my colon appeared to be, and was indeed, healthy. IBS does not damage any lining villa or create polyps or ulcers. The intestine itself is not harmed by IBS and seems to function with normal action until there is a GI stimulant.

The Brain-Gut Function is what IBS is ALL about. More about life and the “BGF” later…

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March 30, 2009
Get This Now

Ever wonder what new bands are worth listening to? Well my good friend Kazz filters out the bad, and tells you what you need to get, NOW!!

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“And Then There Were Five Guys”

If you thought I’ve been in the bathroom this past entire week, you were correct. Some of you may have experienced the above well-known burger, some may have not. My description pertains to those of you who fear a greasy, fatty, but delicious burger.

My experience with “Five Guys” occurred last Sunday, at the West Village 7th Avenue location. It started as a great Sunday; one filled with brunch, screwdrivers, and several Guinness, which I think can be consumed at any time during the day. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to join my buddies for the first time at their local burger joint. They had just moved into the West Village, and I was enjoying my first stay with them (on the couch of course). Upon arriving to Five Guys, I stumbled through the ordering process (which involves an order of a single or double burger, then a quick read off the toppings menu, throw in an order of fries, and you were good to go…just wait and sip on the fountain soda). Another IBS no-no: DON’T DRINK SODA! Think about it; soda has sugar in a syrup form, aka High Fructose Corn Syrup. Sucrose, Fructose, and other sugar formulations are tested for in a Sucrose/Fructose exam, where you drink a solution and breathe into a tube every 15 minutes for three hours. The test shows any enzymatic activity as a result of the ingestion of sugar, and is a great way to take off a morning, sit on a couch and relax. Hopefully an attractive nurse will be helping you with this “examination”. Back to the burger; I devoured it and I enjoyed every second of it. It was tasty and it was messy, but by NO means, does it compare to a J.G. Melons burger, or Luke’s. Some of you may not know Luke’s… enjoy, 1394 3rd Ave.

Fortunately, I was able to fall asleep that night, wake up, and drive 60 miles to work with no problems, but WOW was Monday a killer. I was nauseas; everything I ate made me feel worse, and I made several trips to the bathroom. I haven’t been the same since that burger even though my eating regiment has been on track since Monday. IBS is such a rollercoaster of a ride, with the ups and downs and peaks and valleys, and there isn’t a way to track it. I am still searching for the answer. I guess strong irritants to your colon have a longer lasting effect on your body than I previously had thought.

So folks, this experience with Five Guys taught me something. I can’t expect to be physically all right after ingesting several Guinness followed by a greasy double cheeseburger. So with Five Guys, I start a new series for Blog For Your Bowels, entitled, “Five Guys Ain’t My Guy”. This series will list and discuss eateries, not limited to the NYC area, that will definitely cause a problem if you suffer from IBS.

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March 18, 2009
A mean joke or an act of baking ingenuity with a sick twist?

A mean joke or an act of baking ingenuity with a sick twist?

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